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morganred

no one cares soph

i judge very, very harshly.
The Diary of a Young Girl - B.M. Mooyaart, Eleanor Roosevelt, Anne Frank This book is, quite literally, the most life changing thing a human being could possibly read.
Daughter of Smoke & Bone - Laini Taylor And to think this book had such potential. Ugh. No. No.I was enjoying it. The world was beautifully constructed, the writing was good, the plot amazing. Why, why did she have to have that happen? Better yet, why does Akiva exist at all? The book would have been better without him. Would not recommend.
Tsarina - J. Nelle Patrick Ah, another YA set in/inspired by Russia written by someone who is not Russian.
Inferno - Dan Brown Look, I love Dan Brown's books. I've read and adored every single one. But after this? I don't think i'll be reading anything of his anymore. At first i was angry at all the critics who said his writing was awkward, blocky and repetitive. But after that glass shattering realization, i couldn't not see it. It was horrible to read. Absolutely horrific. The plot didn't grab me - of course the super hot and smart female side-kick totes wants to hook up with him, but is, damaged goods.I gave up very early on, and i think that says something, as a (normally) huge fan of Brown's. Disappointing, really, really disappointing.
Captive in the Dark - C.J. Roberts This sounds sufficiently life-scarring and fucking disturbing. Not with a fifty foot pole.
Steelheart - Brandon Sanderson God. This looks absolutely incredible.
Silence - Becca Fitzpatrick WHEN SILENCE IS ALL THAT'S LEFT, CAN THE TRUTH FINALLY BE HEARD (THAT THIS SERIES PROMOTES SEXUAL ABUSE, HAS HORRIBLE CHARACTERS, AND BORES TO THE POINT OF CHOKING ONESELF WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER?I can't believe i have friends who adore this series. I really, really can't.
Revealing Eden - Victoria Foyt Wha...what the FUCK is this?Is this some twisted, perverted white supremacy fantasy? What the fuck? Black people are Coals? WHITE PEOPLE ARE PEARLS? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK? Black men are beasts? What? No, what? I cannot...i do not...i just don't...comprehend...HOW!?How was this published? How was this idea born? How did anyone receive this and think "I am going to released this unto the world!"? How did someone white think "You know what we need? A book where whites are oppressed! Yeah, that'll show them!" Where did the inspiration come from? How did anyone ever? How? HOW? I am literally sitting here, reading and re-reading the summary and just screaming FUCK aloud. I'm sure my neighbors think i just cut my own arm off, which is what i'd rather do than ever, EVER, go near something like THIS.And do i even have to go into the special white oppressed protagonist Pearl being named Eden? Do i really have to do that? Not even going to TALK about the serious issues Victoria must have inside her mind. I pity her, i do. What i'm wondering is how any publisher in their right mind thought that this was a good idea.

Three Men in a Boat: To Say Nothing of the Dog! (Penguin Popular Classics)

Three Men in a Boat - Jerome K. Jerome Three Men In A Boat (To Say NOTHING Of The Dog) is one of the most hilarious, brilliantly written, 100% amusing and entertaining pieces of fiction created under this sun. That is all.
13 to Life - Shannon Delany Never will think of, talk about, touch, go near, consider again. Pietr Rusakova? PIETR! RUSAKOVA! I would rather melt my eyes with a blow torch and lock myself in a locker for eternity than read anything that has the main male character a supposed Russian with a FEMALE LAST NAME you Western author you good God i am IRRITATED.
The Return: Nightfall (The Vampire Diaries) - L. J. Smith I love how different and how much better the books are in comparison to the TV show, but since i started this book in March and am yet to finish it, i think it's safe to say i never will. It's not bad: it's alright. Just not that interesting, for me. Also pretty messed up. Bug people? Waking up in the middle of the night and recording things backward in a trance? My eyebrows were raised the whole time.
The Bar Code Tattoo - Suzanne Weyn This was so boring i had to physically force myself to read it. So boring i had to keep my eyes open Clockwork Orange style.So, so badly written that i didn't understand how it was published. Fast paced - too fast paced. What? What happened? She's hiking in a forest? I thought she was in school? What?Boring. That's just it. The plot had a chance at being great, but the writing was just...and the characters were so...even thinking about this book makes me want to sleep. Fin.(Side note: I hate that cover with a burning passion. It is horrible. And i like some pretty shitty covers.)
Let's Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir - Jenny Lawson "Dear Victor: Wow. That … really got out of hand. I’m sending this cat in as a peace offering. I forgive you for all the stuff you wrote on the walls about my sister, and I’m going to just ignore all the stuff you wrote about my “giant ass” (turn cat over for rest) because I love you and you need me. Who else loves you enough to send you notes written on cats? Nobody, that’s who. Also, I stapled a picture of us from our wedding day to the cat’s left leg. Don’t we look happy? We can be that way again. Just stop leaving wet towels on the floor. That’s all I ask. I’m low-maintenance that way. Also, this cat needs to go on a diet. I shouldn't be able to write this much on a cat and still have room left over." That quote is just one of the many brilliant moments that fill this memoir. I had never heard one thing about Jenny Lawson before seeing this book, and yet you find yourself so attached to her, her life, her stories. You don't realize how much of yourself you're investing, because it's just that damn funny, but you really, really are. Jenny's life almost seems impossibly comic and tragic, but her earnest descriptions and witty dialogue make it clear just how honest she's being. I read this well into the night, and had to stifle my laughter by biting my pillow, which is no pleasant affair. I'm jut going to leave some quotes that will probably convince you to read this in themselves. "A friend is someone who knows where all your bodies are buried. Because they're the ones who helped you put them there."And sometimes, if you're really lucky, they help you dig them back up." "I picked up the phone to call the police, but then I considered how it would sound when I told them that I was calling from inside my bathroom, where I’d OD’ed on laxatives, and that a possible rapist was quietly passing me notes under the bathroom door." "P.P.P.P.S. Also, if you try to make a shrimp boil, but the bag of spices bursts, and so you just toss it in along with whatever spices you can find in the pantry--you can make homemade pepper spray. Unintentionally.And everyone at your dinner party will run outside for the next hour, coughing and tearing up as if they've been maced, because technically they kind of have been, because mace was one of the spices I found in the pantry. I blame whoever makes spice out of mace, and I remind my gasping dinner guests that even if I did mace them, I did it in an old fashioned, homemade, Martha Stewart sort of way. With love."Edit: Guess what I re-read and loved even more than the first time?

Bossypants

Bossypants - I simply have no idea how you can read this book and not adore it. Writing? Brilliant. Content? Brilliant. Tina? Always, always brilliant. I'll be re-reading this soon.
Clockwork Princess - Cassandra Clare My whole feelings for this book is just this: I don't caaaaaaaare.I don't care about the Magister or what happens to anyone anymore. I don't care what happens to Will or Jem or Tessa. I don't care about the plot. I don't care about the Institute. The most interesting thing in this whole book was Jessamine, and she had, what, three lines? The first book was great. The second book was okay. This is just...just bleh. I think Cassie could have done well writing ONE book as a prequel, but three? She couldn't pull it off. The characters were all very OOC. The plot was boring. All the supposedly suspenseful happenings weren't really suspenseful because of course Jem wouldn't die and of course Tessa hooks up with them both and of course they win and of course, of course, of course. So predictable it hurt me. It hurt me to read any of it. I cringed. The writing was alright, as usual. Whatever. If it wasn't i wouldn't even read anything of Cassie's. But what she actually wrote was a huge, huge disappointment. Let's start with Jem. Ugh, Jem. I liked you a lot. Man, i really did. Not as much as Will, but whatever. You and i were chill. How in the name of the good Lord Satan did you BECOME HUMAN ONCE MORE? NO! STOP! I don't care if it's just lore that she hadn't before mentioned, i don't care that i have no say in what happens in this world or not, i don't care, i don't care, i don't caaaaaare (see above.) First of all, he plainly stated he wouldn't be a Silent Brother. No, saying he would never! Ever! Be a Silent Brother and then later becoming one isn't a plot twist. It's a sloppy attempt at keeping a dying character from dying just so your fans don't boycott your writing. But whatever, him being a Brother i can deal with. Him becoming human again? FUCK! UGH it just makes me angry again, and i finished that 20$ novel weeks and weeks ago. He only became human for both Jessa and Wessa to happen. You can tell me until your gums bleed that that isn't true, that that is just my angry irrationality talking, Cassie herself could come to my front door and deliver a speech as to why that is not so. It just is. It. Just. Is. Why did i care about these characters in the first two? What happened in the third to set me off? Was it the fandom? Was it that i had to fight to stay awake? What was it?And WHY is everyone saying how heartbreaking it is? If you read CP2 and think to yourself how hard it is to be a fan of this series, suck it up and stop complaining. All your favorite characters are alive. Both Wessa and Jessa happened. Everything is resolved. Try reading Harry Potter. Try. Reading. Game. Of. Thrones.I am so done with this book. So done with Cassie. I know i will be reading her other work but i am so, so tired. I have a headache just thinking about it. I am done.
Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment - James Patterson Good Lucifer below this book is boring. The humor is childish and dry, the characters are one dimensional, the plot line is seen-it-all-before, and the writing is mundane. I wouldn't recommend this to middle schoolers, let alone young adults.